Some solid parenting advice goes a little something like this: The happier your marriage, the happier your children. Your children will mimic your behavior. They follow your habits from a young age, and that includes the way you interact with your significant other.

When your marriage has taken a back seat, your children can sense it. Studies show that the way you behave in your marriage, as well as the happiness you share in front of your kids can have a direct effect on their adult lives.

The way you and your spouse handle problems, show affection, and the amount of time you spend together can shape your child’s romantic future as well as their behavior. Here are 10 ways to put your marriage first and why it’s important.

Weekly Marriage Check-In

One fantastic marriage advice for a happy relationship is to do a weekly marriage check in. This is an opportunity for couples to show appreciation for one another. Vocalize what your spouse is doing that you love and treasure, such as cooking dinner every night, caring for the children, bringing you coffee in the mornings, or being a good listener.

No marriage is perfect. That said, a weekly check-in is also an opportunity for married partners to proactively address any concerns they have on a regular basis. These check-in sessions promote closure and encourage healthy conversation.

Consult on Family Matters

In order to show your children you are putting your marriage first, you must show them that you value one another’s opinion. This is fantastic parental advice, since it teaches your children that when they come to one of you with a request that is not met, they can’t go running to the other parent expecting a different outcome.

Consulting one another on family matters such as schooling, punishments, and health and social matters show that you respect one another’s opinions.

Children who see that their parents are happy and united when it comes to family matters and important decisions will feel a sense of security knowing that their parents are always on the same side.

Go Tech-Free

Do you ever feel like you stare at your smartphone more than you do your husband or wife? Research indicates that smartphone users check their screens on an average of every 6.5 minutes. If you notice it, chances are your children do, too. One piece of marriage advice to live by is to give your partner at least 10 minutes of unplugged, tech-free attention once a day

This will teach your children that technology and entertainment isn’t everything. It shows them that your partner, and those you care about, deserve your undivided attention to talk, share, and listen. Powering down for your spouse can also help remove any feelings of envy or jealousy your partner may feel towards your online social life.

Have a Regular Date Night

One way to put your marriage first is to have a date night once a week, every week. The idea behind having a date night is to spend time with your spouse as though you were still dating, spending a fun night out wooing one another.

Date night can be as expensive or as budget-friendly as you like. A fancy dinner cooked at home served by candlelight or a hot air balloon date.

Having a weekly date night will show your children that your marriage is a priority and that you value making one another happy. Couples who have regular date nights report higher relationship satisfaction, decreased stress, increased sexual satisfaction, a strengthened marriage directly after having children, and are less likely to get divorced.

Fight the Right Way

Put your marriage first by showing respect for your partner even when you are in an argument. Most parental advice will tell you not to fight in front of your children, and for good reason. Childhood anxiety can lead to a plethora of issues including depression and a higher likelihood of developing immune issues as an adult.

You can also show your husband or wife due respect and love by never attacking their character during an argument, avoid name calling, listening, staying calm, and working together to solve the issue at hand.

Don’t Forget the Little Things

Looking for ways to show appreciation to one another is a great way to teach your children about love. It’s also a way to put your marriage first and remind your partner why you love them.

Saying “I love you”, hugging, holding hands, complimenting one another, and showing regular appreciation for your spouse will teach your children the importance of caring for your loved one.

Being kind to one another in front of your little ones teaches good behavior and gives them a correct view of how partners should treat each other.

Do it For Your Children

You want the best for your children. You want them to believe they can do anything, be anything, and that they are the most loved person in the corner of your universe. But, that doesn’t mean your spouse should be pushed to the backburner.

You cannot have a strong marriage unless you put the time and energy into putting one another first on your list of priorities.

When you have a strong marriage you give your children a safe and loving family to grow up in. Children who are in happy, intact married families are more likely to be emotionally and physically healthy, more likely to attend university, are less likely to abuse drugs or alcohol, divorce as an adult or become pregnant as teenagers.

One slice of parental advice? Putting your marriage first is not a bad thing. The way you and your spouse treat each other will have a direct effect on your children. You can put your marriage first and set an excellent example of love by having a regular date night, checking in with one another about important decisions, and showing affection regularly.

Rachael Pace is a relationship expert with years of experience in training and helping couples. She has helped countless individuals and organizations around the world, offering effective and efficient solutions for healthy and successful relationships. Her mission is to provide inspiration, support and empowerment to everyone on their journey to a great marriage. She is a featured writer for, a reliable resource to support healthy happy marriages.


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1 Comment

  1. quinton

    My wife is choosen the children before everything and if i talk about if its worsen the mater and if i talk about date nights then she would ask what about the children


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