Forget the Golden Rule; It’s Valentine’s Day

We all know the Golden Rule.  But have you ever noticed the fine print at the bottom?

I was laughing with some friends recently over failed Valentine’s Days of years past. Reminiscing on the sweet things they had done for their husbands and the, well, lack of things their husbands had done for them. It made me think about the Golden Rule. I have decided it shouldn’t apply to Valentine’s Day.

Here’s an example from my real life:

I love surprises & gifts. My husband hates surprises & gifts.

When we were first dating, I would set up surprises and get gifts for him all the time! And, big surprise, he hated it each time. Which hurt my feelings. And next thing we know, we were mad at each other. Happy Valentine’s Day to us.

On the other hand, my hallmark-holiday-hating husband would not do anything special for me on Valentine’s Day. In fact, sometimes my crazy mind was convinced he treated me worse on that day just to show he didn’t want to conform to the man! It’s comical when I think about it now, after a dozen years of marriage. But when we were dating, it crushed my tender little heart.

But all we were doing was following the Golden Rule!

I did for him as I wished he’d do for me… 

He did for me as he wished I’d do for him… 

Over the years, I have learned to embrace my husband’s distaste for hallmark holidays and I now spend a lot less time stressing on setting up the perfect surprise and finding the perfect gift for him. I have to admit, it’s pretty freeing. And he caught on to my love for celebrating and he has pulled off some sweet surprise gifts for me because he knows that’s what I like.

That’s what love is all about in the end, right? Making sacrifices for your loved one to bring them joy. So let’s turn the Golden Rule upside down for Valentine’s day and love each other the way they want to be loved.